albionspeak: a draught of language (8.1)
SESSION 46: 4TH NIGHT, 6/22/97 (New York)
Tonight’s invocation was Stevens’ “Final Soliloquy of the Interior Paramour.” [Here I agree with James Merrill completely: I find this poem to comprise the most beautiful & holiest words I know. It is the deepest expression of what it feels like to know your karass.]
Don
10:50 PM
1. Q: [Guide], are you there?
A: I AM & FIND OUT WITH YOU
2. Q: Who is with us?
A: ANAND & JANE LISTEN
I WILL SPEAK – DON
So far I cannot claim to understand why others (Anand & Jane)
stick around on some nights and why they’re absent on others. Clearly,
one can see how listening in on our lessons can be helpful to those not
directly involved; but then why not listen in every time? What’s very
difficult for me to sort out – I mean as a serious question of meta-physics -
- is what our absent friends might be doing while we’re at the board. If our
friends exist beyond & outside of time, then coming to visit us should not in
the slightest way intrude on their “busy schedules.” That is, if time is not
an obstacle, then one can make time for any event. If, on the other hand,
coming to our table requires an expenditure of energy, then one can see
why one might choose not to use up a limited resource. However, is
energy really limited? We believe, we assume that it is. And yet our only
notion of limited supply again comes from a world bounded by time and
space. Here we expend energy and then need time to recharge from a
limited energy resource. Once we have recharged, namely once we have
taken the time to do so, we can return to whatever task we were working
on. So how does this work in eternity? Anand makes aliah to connect to a
particular port and exhausts himself; he has no stores left to connect with
us. He returns to the universal wall socket, plugs in, and recuperates.
Feeling better, he can then connect to a variety of ports, including our
own, including even our board at a point which for us appears prior in time
to his aforementioned expenditure. According to this, one can call upon or
borrow from energy reserves one has yet to find. It’s like running the
world’s car engines on gasoline which today is still locked up in living
forests. Or perhaps it’s like the current social security system.
3. Q: How do we begin?
A: A SIMPLE EXERCISE
IT WILL NOT BE NECESSARY TO LEAVE [THE] LAKE
A Pyramid Arising
4. Q: What is the exercise?
A: ONCE AGAIN WE NEED SOME STEPS
I WANT YOU TO IMAGINE A MAYAN PYRAMID ARISING FROM
[THE] DARK WATER
MAKE IT APPEAR & AS IT EMERGES [THE] PLANCHETTE STIRS
11:04 PM
5. Q: We are performing the exercise now, Don.
A: A WORLD IS RISING
OUT OF DARKNESS INTO DARKNESS
Cryptic and oracular; also disquieting.
About Our Pyramid
11:07 PM
6. Q: Are we on the steps again?
A: WE ARE BUT OUR PYRAMID IS DIFFERENT NOW
IT IS [NO]T A SORCERER’S MOUNTAIN
BUT AN ASCENT LEADING TO [THE] SUN
IT IS OUR PYRAMID
7. Q: Is this analogous to our tree -- the meeting oak?
A: IT IS A MEETING PORT AS WELL DESIGNED FOR OUR
USE BY OUR FOREBEARS
8. Q: One is designed while the other grows.
A: INDEED BUT ALIAH INHERES IN BOTH
ALIAH CAN BE INSTILLED INTO A CONSTRUCTION
AS YOU ARE AWARE
[cf. 96: 42.4], our conversation surrounding the Olmec mask.
9. Q: Are we again on the bottom steps?
A: EACH IS ON A DIFFERENT STEP
I AM FACING YOU BOTH & [THE]REFORE CAN SEE YOUR
POSITIONS CLEARLY
Another reference to our diverging paths. Don now addresses me
individually.
10. Q: What positions do you see us in?
A: YOURS IS PERILOUSLY NEAR [THE] EDGE OF BLACK WATER
I CAN SEE AS YOU DO NOT THAT YOU ARE DALLYING IN
A PLACE WHERE A MISSTEP WILL SEND YOU DOWN
INTO [THE] DEEP -
DO YOU KNOW THIS?
Misstepping
11. Q ([Albion]): If I really did know this, I wouldn’t be here.
A: I THINK YOU DO KNOW WHERE YOU ARE RELATIVE TO THE
WATER
YOU SIMPLY CANNOT PICTURE YOURSELF MISSTEPPING OR
MISSING [THE] STEP
12. Q ([Albion]): Can you help me picture this?
A: [YES] IMAGINE ME SITTING SOME STEPS ABOVE YOU
I CANNOT MOVE DOWN AND SAVE YOU
YOU MUST COME UP TO ME
[THE] SCRIBE IS FACING UPWARD
HE CONTINUES TAKING STEPS & DOES NOT KNOW THAT
YOU ARE ALREADY GONE
WE GO ON WITHOUT YOU BECAUSE WE MUST -
DOES THIS HELP YOU SEE IT?
This is a painful image for me, undoubtedly a good one.
13. Q ([Albion]): How can I convince that part of me that needs convincing?
A: IT IS SIMPLE
YOU SPEAK TO IT ALOUD AS YOU WOULD TO A FRIEND
DAILY NIGHTLY HOURLY IF NEEDED
SAY THIS IS IT THIS IS [THE] MOMENT
14. Q ([Albion]): I can do this, Don. How will this message reach the rest of me?
A: ALIAH IS CONNECTEDNESS & REACHING
YOU MUST CONNECT WITH THAT PART OF YOU THAT
IS NOW SEPARATE OR SEVERED
SPEECH IS [THE] SIMPLEST & OLDEST METHOD OF
INSTILLING ALIAH
15. Q ([Albion]): What makes speech superior to thought?
A: FORGIVE ME IF I SAY THAT YOUR THOUGHTS AT THIS
STAGE ARE A BLUR A CHAOS
SPEECH IS A LINE A LINE OF LIGHT A LINE OF FIRE
I already believed that the spoken word conveyed some intent,
more than most of our weak thoughts, but I wanted overt confirmation
while we were on the subject. At this time I recalled a conversation
[Scribe] & I had shared while walking that day: [Scribe] told me how his
friend [the Shaman] had nearly died many times. I, in turn, volunteered
my own experiences, including two instances that happened when I was
19. In both cases I fell asleep while doing something which absolutely
required conscious attention. In one case I fell asleep while swimming
in Lake Tahoe; in the other I literally fell asleep at the wheel while in
the fast lane of the world’s widest freeway merger (lots of traffic). In both
instances I knew for sure I crossed the threshold of sleep; in both instances
I knew I could die, but I was so sleepy I simply didn’t care. Then, a voice --
not my own -- clearly shouted out, “Wake up or you’re going to die!” In
both cases I awoke immediately with a powerful adrenalin jolt, and
fortunately in neither instance had I strayed in the slightest from what I’d
been doing (I neither stopped my swim stroke, nor did I drift in my lane).
In the swimming incident I also had a clear visual of myself swimming in
the lake from 100+ feet up in the air.
It seemed appropriate to mention these since right now my soul
seemed asleep at a critical place.
Near-Death Incidents
16. Q ([Albion]): I recall two near-death incidents in which I heard a voice say
“Wake up or you’re going to die.” Can you comment?
A: IF YOU HAD NOT CONNECTED AT THOSE MOMENTS PERHAPS
YOU WOULD HAVE DIED -
WHY NOT SAY [THE] SAME NOW TO YOUR SLEEPING SELF?
17. Q ([Albion]): It was I who connected with my imperiled self? If so, which I
spoke?
A: OF COURSE IT WAS YOU
[THE] YOU WHO STAYS AWAKE & IS KEEN SIGHTED
HIGHER ON [THE] STEPS
18. Q ([Albion]): Are there then [Albion]s and [Scribe]s on each of the stairs?
A: I WOULD SAY SO EXCEPT THAT WOULD PROVIDE ANOTHER
EXCUSE FOR BELIEVING THAT [THE] FATE OF [THE]
LOWEST IS EITHER SECURE OR OF [NO] CONSEQUENCE
THAT IS YOUR PRESENT BELIEF, [NO]?
I love the brilliance of this response. I suppose the gamester in me
was trying to pen in Don, trying to pin him down into acknowledging that
part of me is, in fact, O.K.: that since the higher Albion obviously has
“made it,” so must I. But Don, in his wisdom, refused the bait. Yes, my
logic & metaphysics were sound, but such thinking is in part responsible
for my current crisis. And no, I am not guaranteed salvation.
19. Q ([Albion]): Why do some selves fall asleep?
A: OUR MINDS ARE UNFINISHED & CONTINUALLY IN [THE]
WORK OF RECONSTRUCTING THEMSELVES
SLEEP HERE MEANS UNUSED & UNAVAILING
IT IS NOT A DESIRABLE STATE
Just Behind Your Sternum
20. Q ([Albion]): Where or who is the [Albion] who does not believe he is in danger?
A: HE IS LOCATED JUST BEHIND YOUR STERNUM
Huh? Just when I’d started to figure out the conversation, Don
knew exactly how to surprise (and thus keep me engaged).
21. Q ([Albion]): Does this location correspond to a chakra?
A: NOT EXACTLY BUT ACCORDING TO AN OLD TEACHING
IN OUR CIRCLE WE THINK OF INTENT AS ARISING
BEHIND [THE] BREASTBONE -
YOUR SLEEPING SELF IS COILED LIKE A LAZY PALE WORM
AROUND [THE] BASE OF YOUR INTENT
Undoubtedly this “worm” ought to be a watchful serpent.
22. Q ([Albion]): Where is the [Albion] who sits at the board & agrees with you?
A: I THINK OF HIM AS LOCATED IN YOUR RIGHT HAND
23. Q ([Albion]): Can you explain?
A: YOU AGREE WITH ME WITHIN A VITAL EXTREMITY ALONE
& NOT WITHIN [THE] CORE OF YOUR BEING
24. Q ([Albion]): Is [Scribe]’s analogous self also located within his right hand?
A: [NO] BECAUSE THIS SELF CAN MOVE -
YOU CAN FOR INSTANCE MOVE IT CLOSER TO [THE] CORE
25. Q ([Albion]): Would you recommend that I do so?
A: I HAVE RECOMMENDED [NO]THING ELSE FROM [THE] OUTSET
26. Q ([Albion]): Would it be helpful if I make the gesture of bringing my right
hand to my breastbone?
A: [YES] BUT DO [NO]T OMIT [THE] SPEECH
27. Q ([Albion]): What do we call this self who is now in my right hand?
A: I THINK OF IT AS [THE] DISCURSIVE SELF OR [THE] OUTER SELF
The Cricket or the Lizard
28. Q ([Albion]): Can you tell us what our forebears called it?
A: [YES] THEY CALLED IT EITHER [THE] CRICKET OR [THE] LIZARD
The tone of our conversation had lightened considerably. This
was fun.
29. Q: Where is [Scribe]’s cricket currently?
A: IN HIS JAW SLOWLY MOVING DOWNWARD
I pointed out to [Scribe] how Don’s use of “jaw” must be an
allusion to [Scribe]’s recent poem “Olduvai Diary.” We had just read this
poem together the day before, wherein the first canto prominently features
an unearthed piece of jawbone from a dig.
30. Q: Surely then it is a task to move the cricket downward.
A: [YES] [THE] SPEAKING SELF & [THE] INTENDING SELF
THEN MERGE OR AS [THE]Y USED TO SAY [THE]
SERPENT SWALLOWS [THE] CRICKET - OR LIZARD
IT IS FANCIFUL I ADMIT
Despite Don’s subsequent partial denial, this was a clear allusion
to “tiger swallowing.” [Cf. 96: 39.10]
31. Q: In essence, this is another version of tiger swallowing.
A: [NO]T EXACTLY BUT AKIN
[THE] COMMON ELEMENT IS [THE] KNOWLEDGE THAT
[THE] POWERS ARE TO BE NESTED ONE WITHIN [THE]
OTHER & THERE IS A PROPER ORDER TO THIS NESTING
OR EMBEDDEDNESS
32. Q: For some people, the swallowing has happened in the wrong order.
A: [YES] AND AT TIMES I PREFER THIS QUAINT LANGUAGE
TO CURRENT MEDICAL AND SOCIOLOGICAL JARGON
33. Q: Do we really end up with self-within-self like an onion or a Russian doll?
A: IT IS AS GOOD A METAPHOR AS ANY & HAS [THE] MERIT
OF BEING SEEABLE
34. Q: Initially, the selves are separate (hand from heart, tiger from man).
A: YOU START OUT ALL OVER [THE] PLACE
YOU END UP IN ONE PLACE
Compare the complex jargon of response #32 to the simple
language of #34. Don is a master.
Since we were talking about parts within the body and we’d been
told earlier that Albion is “a map” and, furthermore, since Albion is our
one member consistently represented in bodily form, I felt I should ask the
following question:
35. Q ([Albion]): Is there a special connection between Albion & his body - a
connection not shared by other members?
A: [YES] & [NO]
ALBION LEARNS THROUGH HIS BODY BUT EACH MEMBER
HAS TO DO SO AS WELL
ALBION IS REPRESENTED AS A HUMAN BODY IN A WAY THAT
[THE] O[THE]RS ARE [NO]T
36. Q ([Albion]): Why?
A: BECAUSE THAT IS [THE] TRADITION -
[THE] GIANT [THE] [xxxxx] AND SO ON
O.K., nothing new. Time to sign off.
37. Q: We must now ask for parting words.
A: I CANNOT TEACH YOU UNTIL YOU BELIEVE IN WHAT I SAY
BY [THE] TIME YOU DO BELIEVE YOU WILL NO LONGER
NEED A TEACHER
MAY THAT DAY COME IN TIME -
DON
All teachers recognize the irony, even the folly, of their calling.
Nevertheless, nothing we do could be as valuable.
6d Session 46
Images & Attributions (in order of appearance)
1. Banner: Rhiannon C. 2016
a) Jewel Mandala (2): D.C. Albion 1994
b) Jewel Ouija Board (2): D.C. Albion 1994
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