albionspeak 2: the gates of dis (14.12)
SESSION 82: 8TH NIGHT, 11/8/02
[Scribe] and I enjoyed [P. Park] and [downtown] together before meeting [my wife] and the kids at [A. Restaurant]. Dinner was delicious (at least mine was). I think all of us, [Scribe] & I most importantly, were quite stuffed. We also knew that we’d have to call it an early night, owing to [Scribe]’s early departure. Energy was low, but we made our best effort. I don’t think our day particularly shortened our last night; I think there was a cumulative toll. I also think we’d finished the lessons and learned all we could. (This is what Don implied.) I caught a necessary catnap after dinner.
Our invocation: “La Espera” by Jorge Luis Borges, following last night’s lesson on feeling.
Don
Voyage and Anchor
1. Q: [Guide], are you there?
A: [YES] AND [THE] LAKE IS CALM & STARLIT
2. Q: What is our Exercise?
A: IT IS ONLY TO SEE [THE] STAR [YES] THIS TIME SLIGHTLY AHEAD OF YOU
I WAIT BEHIND
[YES]
U E
◊
3. Q: Any further instruction?
A: ONLY BEGIN CALMLY
4. Q: We begin now.
A: A MONK DREAMS OF AN ANCHOR
I AM GLAD TO WEIGH ANCHOR AGAIN
Don quotes from his own poem, The Wait, or rather, Espera. Here’s the last stanza, which we covered extensively at the board years ago:
Before you come,
A monk will have to dream about an anchor,
A tiger will have to die in Sumatra,
Nine men must die in Borneo.
5. Q (Duncan): Don, you are my anchor [chakra-port].
A: IT IS TIME SO TO SPEAK
RAISE [THE] ANCHOR & SAIL FOR A WHILE
6. Q ([Scribe]): Anchors are consoling.
A: IMAGINE [THE] MONK
HE BOTH NEEDS A TE[THE]R & PERMISSION TO SET OUT NO?
7. Q: As do we.
A: ALL [THE] TEACHING IS SET UP TO MAKE THIS EASIER
IT IS [NO]T MEANT TO BE A WEIGHT
Even as I typed the above response I accidentally mistyped the other spelling for Don’s last word.
8. Q: You refer to permission to…
A: PURSUE YOUR FAITH OR IF YOU WISH PRACTICE [THE] ART
An allusion to the Phædo. The daimon of Socrates rarely spoke in positive terms, but it did instruct him to “practice the art,” leading, among other things, to Socrates’ taking up poetry on the eve of his execution.
9. Q: Famous words of the daimon of Yes.
A: WE NEED THAT DAIMON FROM TIME TO TIME [YES]
We were moving into one of my prepared areas of questions. I needed confirmation/advice/guidance on my progress in conversing directly with Albion. I had been instructed to work initially in binary terms, Yes & No, to both see and hear these words as answers to my questions. The reason for this process was, in part, to learn to cut through the myriad of voices I am continually bombarded with, to trust my true link with Albion. But it had been hard, almost a complete failure. [Scribe] was amused by the irony of my adding yet a third element to my simple system, a color; red for no, green for yes. I felt I needed this, because I could visualize these colors more unambiguously. But -- and this is just pathological! -- I had an overriding tendency to align red with yes, green with no. I had the hardest time aligning (and holding) the right colors in the right places. (Actually there is even a fourth element. Coinciding with the visual element is a spatial positioning: left = yes, right = no, as on our board. Visualization alone does not require this.)
After a year of intermittent effort, I could only convince myself of one successful session with Albion. Even then I wanted confirmation; I needed it.
10. Q (Duncan): I want to confirm my one valid conversation with Albion as per last year’s rules. I was, I believe, assigned the madrona task.
A: I CONFIRM & WISH YOU HAPPINESS IN THIS WORK
11. Q (Duncan): Why is it so hard for me to place red & green on their corresponding responses?
A: PERHAPS YOU WISH TO HAVE IT BOTH WAYS? BOTH VOYAGE & ANCHOR?
Undoubtedly, both my cake and a free lunch too.
One last necessary question before free time: I felt I knew who O was, was almost certain of it. But God! I could not imagine going through a whole year in wish-fulfilling delusion. Overt confirmation needed, please.
12. Q (Duncan): Is it appropriate to confirm O’s identity at this time?
A: [YES] ONLY I THINK YOU SHOULD FINISH YOUR LETTER & READ IT TO [THE] SCRIBE
Referring to my letter confirmed everything. O, it’s really you! How are we so lucky to keep such company!
13. Q (Duncan): Can this be one of the nine men?
A: [YES] IT IS [THE] OUTCOME OF A SENSING TASK & APPROPRIATE TO THIS STAGE
14. Q: Don, do you have a topic for us?
A: IT IS NOT I THINK AN EVENING FOR MORE TEACHING
YOUR MINDS ARE BOTH FULL & WEARY
Don plucks some rare Clarke poetry: “As cigarette butts smolder,/The ash tray grows full and weary.”
15. Q: Don, this is ironic -- we had so looked forward to casual conversation with you -- and now we can’t think of much to say, except to begin farewells.
A: PERHAPS WE CAN BE MORE PLAYFUL NEXT TIME
THIS WAS A RATHER SERIOUS SET OF NIGHTS
I WILL SAY GOOD NIGHT & IF I MAY BON VOYAGE
I hope with all my heart that we really can begin this voyage. So many beginnings have been noted in our sessions; so many opportunities missed by me.
16. Q: Though perhaps not “present” at this last session, we know that you -- Anand, Jane, Vilansit & Josef -- are always near us.
We always bid farewell to you last, [Guide] -- our faithful butterfly.
A: I AM ALWAYS BEHIND YOU ON [THE]SE DARK WATERS
GO LIGHTLY & BE AT PEACE FRIENDS
11:50 PM
[Scribe] and I awoke just after 6:00 AM the next morning and drove without incident (unlike last year) to the airport. Tired, we nonetheless reviewed the previous night’s mini-session and determined not to include any subtitles.
Today, November 15th [2002], I have finished typing these transcripts, in less than a week, while also teaching, catching up on the previous week’s paperwork, and single-parenting (w/[my wife] at a science conference). I’m not flying, but I’m certainly productive.